"But I am afraid, mama." said her youngest son as she nestled him into bed. "What are you afraid of, Samuel?" she responded, even though she knew the answer. "The dark!" he declared.
As a child, the darkness always took her to a place of absolute fear and panic. Through stormy nights and real monsters in her vision, she always hoped that someone would come and calm her worry. But, night after night, no one came, and she would shortly discover that if she focused on the street light outside her window, the room's darkness would be overcome.
To this very moment, she fears darkness. She always wants to be aware of her surroundings seeing everything the day reveals. Yet when her night comes, that familiar terror rises within her, and when asked, "What are you afraid of?". Her answer will mirror her son, "The dark!"
The darkness of crushing sorrow and disappointment has a way of revealing the Lord’s secrets to her. It is in the shadow of the valley, where it seems the light has forgotten to shine on what her eyes see, when the Lord begins to expose His promise that says, “The Word gave life to everything that was created, and His life brought light to everyone. The light shines in the darkness and the darkness can never extinguish it." (John 1: 4-5)
Will she resist it? Would the desperate cry of this sufferer believe that there will be light as she approaches her night? Oh, how she longs to be unafraid! The Lord knows it will be a process when He begins to grow, prune, and refine her. However, she was terrified of the process and would try to resist His leadership through the dark! So, instead of rescuing her and making a quick fix like she requested, He knew the best way to teach her was to bring her into the valley of darkness where she was most afraid.
Her entire being throbbed with anxiety and desperately needed prompt action. The turmoil was raging within! There seemed to be no silence from the screaming voice of the enemy. The lies would call out an identity she often attempted to allow to perish. Everything inside her believed the monster would come and take her away to a place she longed to be rid of. She panicked and clung to hopelessness, highly desperate for an alternate route.
The famous words "Why is it always like this" flew from her lips, with a fist soaring toward God. This would expose her heart toward Him, which was covered in unbelief and doubt that His promise was true! After the exposure, a fleeting request would ask Him to look upon her misery and be her hero by shielding her in her suffering. But, instead, He only answered with silence as He took her deeper into the valley.
Recognizing there would be no shortcut around this journey, surrendering was her only option. So, she began to sit still. Here the Lord revealed His secret to her in the shadow:
"You will not escape the darkness. It is continually coming after you. But my pursuit of leading you through the dark will take you to the place in the shadow where you are most afraid and vulnerable. This desolate and terrifying place is meant for our time to have a connection with one another. Stop trying to use your own light, for it only goes out and causes torment. Your strength is sitting still with Me as I show you I am God. Here is where My new life for you is revealed, portion by portion, and in My timing. Keep your eyes on the Light, for your night can not extinguish Me. Trust Me as you walk through the darkest valley, remembering I am close beside you! Don't withstand as I lead you through the night, for I expand your view here and reveal what is eternal!"
The secrets told in the shadows silenced her fears and exposed her heart. Now she embraces the process and will say yes to begin her everyday journey through the deepest darkest valley. With confidence that fear will not conquer her, for Her Lord already has.
With compassion, she answered Samuel, "Honey, keep your eyes on the light, and soon you will see the darkness will be consumed!" Then, they both drifted off to peaceful sleep.
Go, keeping your eyes on the Light, even if you are afraid!
"The LORD is my light and my salvation - so why should I be afraid? The LORD is my fortress, protecting me from danger, so why should I tremble?" - Psalm 27:1
"You light a lamp for me. The LORD, my God, lights up my darkness." - Psalm 18:28
"The people who walk in darkness will see a great light. For those who live in a land of deep darkness, a light will shine." - Isaiah 9:2
"Who among you fears the LORD and obeys the word of his servant? Let the one who walks in the dark, who has no light, trust in the name of the LORD and rely on their God." - Isaiah 50:10
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